Protected: I look at them.

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Protected: ARGH

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Protected: Forget it.

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Protected: Woes and complains.

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Protected: Why.

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Byebye world.

I decided to stop posting :/

I read my Secondary 3 diary yesterday in the wee hours of the morning.

Although boring and seemingly super private I guess it’s best for me now.

Hmmm.

& somehow after I read it I realised the connection of what I like.

Which is found amusing cause,

it’s completely the same except for a few extra factors.

But on the whole, it’s the same.

Amazing ttm. Onew~ :)

Haha ok ta-ta.

Until when I decided to create a new blog (:

Be curious about my life be very curious >:)

Ho ho ho ho ho :D

Tired of myself.

When I first looked at it, words couldn’t comprehend my feelings.

I didn’t know how to react.

Disappointment? Anger? Gladness?

I didn’t know what to do next.

Stay? Give an excuse and then leave? Give up?

And the next moment, I felt numb. Then i thought about other things.

Suddenly it was all pointless. Without a reason.

I felt like I was in limbo. As if my ability to reason was suddenly washed away.

I couldn’t find a reason for anything at all.

It was almost as if I’m pondering over something non-existent.

And for the first time in my life, my mind is blank.

Completely blank, even now. Blank.

My mind wasn’t processing anything, I feel…programmed.

It was like my memories are like TV shows I see on TV.

I can’t understand my identity. Who am I?

I suddenly felt like doing things I never wanted to try before.

I was tired of myself.

I’m still tired of myself.

I feel so inadequate.

I don’t feel like doing anything anymore.

This is all so pointless.

Spining.

.

..

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Oh god. This makes me so scared.

Ask her to teach?

What’s going through your mind really?

My mind and heart literally freezed when I heard it.

I was at a total loss of words and I just thought.

What exactly went wrong?

It’s just for fun right? You’re just going to watch and not do it right?

And although I plugged both ears with SHINee music,

those words cut through all the music.

The music just felt so bland all of the sudden, I sat there filled with terror.

Is that how you want to wake me up G?

7 in total out of 23 people. Now 1 more added.

What’s all these compared to that one life?

Is it me? Am I not showing you through me? Is this why it’s happening?

I’m not only shocked because you don’t seem like that kind of person,

but also because you told her all those disadvantages yesterday.

And you’re doing it today?

It doesn’t make sense at all.

Did I really need this big shake-up G?

I know I’ve been ignoring you did I really need to be woken up this way?

Perhaps it’s because my heart has gone stone cold,

and that I’ve been idolising.

I know you’re angry and disappointed with me.

Urgh. I don’t know just what to do.

Is she really going to do it?

Protected: Added on x2!

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Results.

Result from Vannie’s constant nagging in E26A (HAHAHA) and after watching SHINee Hello baby episodes.

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I’m hooked onto Onew LOL. Vannie’s favourite SHINee member.

Actually at first he’s not that outstanding to me :/

HAHAHAH. In fact the least outstanding LOL.

But he totally made me LOL-ed from the first episode to the last.

He’s like super blur and so easily distracted.

What made me notice him was his stunts (LOL.), him easily distracted, easily bullied (LIKES (Y) ), always failing to get attention, his very evident flaws, his servanthood and his character.

Hmm but I still only like it when he’s that real LOL.

Lol Vannie if you see this I’m still not going to be so crazy for SHINee HAHAHAHA.