Daughter of the risen one! (:

September 29, 2010

I’m a loser >:(

Filed under: Blibical, Rantings — CynthiaAcacia @ 12:37 am

Hmmm. I’m not a good topic starter. Neither am I a good engager.
In the past, people told me I don’t share deep, I only share random stuff.
Yet now I share only about my ministry life.
I guess there must be a balance, but I just find it hard.
To genuinely be interested insomething will make me talk about it the whole day.
I guess being really interested in ministry isn’t a bad thing but balance ):
But the thing is I think I’m interested in nothing else. Not that much interest that is.
Yes, so no life hais. I’m a boring person.
The next thing I interested in is events managment.
But who will want to engage in these kind of topics.
I’m not shutting myself out from the world, the world is shutting itself from me.
How? I can’t sustain interests in other things.
Idols, KPOP, sports etc.
All those will eventually fade, how can I even build interest upon them.
Activities? I hate routine.
G, please let me have interest in some damn thing >:(

I feel like a loser.

Oh well, I’m watching Lion King 2, Simba’s pride. Finished Lion King 1.
Sometimes, I just wished I’ve had that child-likeness again.
Even if it meant that I had to spend more energy and be someone whom I didn’t quite like.
An active person, bubbly and sociable.
A glue to snap everybody out of their comfort zones yet bond them back even stronger.
But, I’ve grown so tired and weary.
It’s almost as if, I’m me now.
Boring, wierd as ever me.

But dull.

Youth people have said that I’ve matured but so what?
They say they miss the hyperactive me, well the me I created.
It’s almost as if I gave them false hope.
I don’t know G, why did you even let that happen?
They seemed to like one which I’ve created than me.
I guess it’s natural to like sociable people more.
It did bring good times but, that’s not me.
So why?

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