When I first looked at it, words couldn’t comprehend my feelings. I didn’t know how to react. Disappointment? Anger? Gladness? I didn’t know what to do next. Stay? Give an excuse and then leave? Give up? And the next moment, I felt numb. Then i thought about other things. Suddenly it was all pointless. Without a reason. I felt like I was in limbo. As if my ability to reason was suddenly washed away. I couldn’t find a reason for anything at all. It was almost as if I’m pondering over something non-existent. And for the first time in my life, my mind is blank. Completely blank, even now. Blank. My mind wasn’t processing anything, I feel…programmed. It was like my memories are like TV shows I see on TV. I can’t understand my identity. Who am I? I suddenly felt like doing things I never wanted to try before. I was tired of myself. I’m still tired of myself. I feel so inadequate. I don’t feel like doing anything anymore. This is all so pointless.