Daughter of the risen one! (:

November 28, 2010

Tired of myself.

Filed under: Rantings — CynthiaAcacia @ 2:19 am

When I first looked at it, words couldn’t comprehend my feelings.
I didn’t know how to react.
Disappointment? Anger? Gladness?
I didn’t know what to do next.
Stay? Give an excuse and then leave? Give up?
And the next moment, I felt numb. Then i thought about other things.
Suddenly it was all pointless. Without a reason.
I felt like I was in limbo. As if my ability to reason was suddenly washed away.
I couldn’t find a reason for anything at all.
It was almost as if I’m pondering over something non-existent.
And for the first time in my life, my mind is blank.
Completely blank, even now. Blank.
My mind wasn’t processing anything, I feel…programmed.
It was like my memories are like TV shows I see on TV.
I can’t understand my identity. Who am I?
I suddenly felt like doing things I never wanted to try before.
I was tired of myself.
I’m still tired of myself.
I feel so inadequate.
I don’t feel like doing anything anymore.
This is all so pointless.

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