Daughter of the risen one! (:

April 14, 2011

Protected: I look at them.

Filed under: Rantings — CynthiaAcacia @ 12:36 am

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April 4, 2011

Protected: Forget it.

Filed under: Rantings — CynthiaAcacia @ 12:25 am

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April 3, 2011

Protected: Woes and complains.

Filed under: Rantings — CynthiaAcacia @ 3:14 am

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Protected: Why.

Filed under: Rantings — CynthiaAcacia @ 2:50 am

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November 28, 2010

Tired of myself.

Filed under: Rantings — CynthiaAcacia @ 2:19 am

When I first looked at it, words couldn’t comprehend my feelings.
I didn’t know how to react.
Disappointment? Anger? Gladness?
I didn’t know what to do next.
Stay? Give an excuse and then leave? Give up?
And the next moment, I felt numb. Then i thought about other things.
Suddenly it was all pointless. Without a reason.
I felt like I was in limbo. As if my ability to reason was suddenly washed away.
I couldn’t find a reason for anything at all.
It was almost as if I’m pondering over something non-existent.
And for the first time in my life, my mind is blank.
Completely blank, even now. Blank.
My mind wasn’t processing anything, I feel…programmed.
It was like my memories are like TV shows I see on TV.
I can’t understand my identity. Who am I?
I suddenly felt like doing things I never wanted to try before.
I was tired of myself.
I’m still tired of myself.
I feel so inadequate.
I don’t feel like doing anything anymore.
This is all so pointless.

November 24, 2010


Filed under: Rantings — Tags: — CynthiaAcacia @ 12:00 pm






Oh god. This makes me so scared.

Ask her to teach?
What’s going through your mind really?
My mind and heart literally freezed when I heard it.
I was at a total loss of words and I just thought.
What exactly went wrong?
It’s just for fun right? You’re just going to watch and not do it right?
And although I plugged both ears with SHINee music,
those words cut through all the music.
The music just felt so bland all of the sudden, I sat there filled with terror.
Is that how you want to wake me up G?
7 in total out of 23 people. Now 1 more added.

What’s all these compared to that one life?

Is it me? Am I not showing you through me? Is this why it’s happening?
I’m not only shocked because you don’t seem like that kind of person,
but also because you told her all those disadvantages yesterday.
And you’re doing it today?
It doesn’t make sense at all.
Did I really need this big shake-up G?
I know I’ve been ignoring you did I really need to be woken up this way?
Perhaps it’s because my heart has gone stone cold,
and that I’ve been idolising.
I know you’re angry and disappointed with me.
Urgh. I don’t know just what to do.
Is she really going to do it?

November 18, 2010


Filed under: Random crap (:, Rantings — CynthiaAcacia @ 3:14 am

Result from Vannie’s constant nagging in E26A (HAHAHA) and after watching SHINee Hello baby episodes.





I’m hooked onto Onew LOL. Vannie’s favourite SHINee member.

Actually at first he’s not that outstanding to me :/
HAHAHAH. In fact the least outstanding LOL.
But he totally made me LOL-ed from the first episode to the last.
He’s like super blur and so easily distracted.

What made me notice him was his stunts (LOL.), him easily distracted, easily bullied (LIKES (Y) ), always failing to get attention, his very evident flaws, his servanthood and his character.

Hmm but I still only like it when he’s that real LOL.
Lol Vannie if you see this I’m still not going to be so crazy for SHINee HAHAHAHA.

November 17, 2010


Filed under: Rantings — CynthiaAcacia @ 7:56 pm


I honestly feel so cui and tired this week.

Probably due to late night sleeping, studying has never been so tiring.
Done finish the pre-Christmas invite card at last not as easy as I hoped it will be.
Still. need. to. change.
Studies you life sucker ): You completely drained my energy.
I feel kind of sad that today’s Decor was cancelled
I didn’t go to yesterday’s due to needing Quan Sheng to teach me Financial accounting,
tomorrow is LG ): I have completely no time for Decor.
God why is it like this?
If you’ve called us to a certain ministry,
you certainly will allow us to operate effectively in the ministry isn’t it?
I feel super ineffecient.

Can you please cheer me up G? ):

November 16, 2010

Title – less.

Filed under: Rantings — CynthiaAcacia @ 12:24 am

아무도 그들이 나를 실망다고 될 말씀 하신지 정말 오랜만이에요.

내가 정말 그 사람이 나를 향해 이런 느낌은 왜 이해하지 않았기 때문에 반응하는 방법을 몰랐어요. 정확히 내가이 사람을 위해 할 대신 분노의이 엄청난 실망을 가지고 뭐라고? 내가 슬픈 이유는 내가 결코 그 단어가 나를 향해, 아무도 밖으로 훨씬이 사람을오고 싶어 느꼈습니다. 난 정말 내 안에 하나님의 변화를 묘사하는 데 실패 있나요? 난 전혀 변하지 않았다는? 난 그냥 내 자신을 다른 사람들을 속이는 건가? 날 너무 실망이 사람을 만들었습니다 그것을 무엇입니까? 난 알고 싶어, 난 정말 싶어하지만 난 두렵다.

오늘날, 많은 것들이 안 좋아하지만 나쁜 일이. 나는 하나님 께서이 모든 일을 왜 나에게 언젠가는 그분의 목적을 보여줄 것이라고 자신을 안심 했어요. 하지만 난 내 자신을 안심 함께 가서 같이, 나쁜 일들이 연이어 일어난. 누가 내가 당신 계획에 있어야 해요, 완전히 쓸모없는 느낌? 하지만 어쩔 수 없어요 사단은 고통과 슬픔에서 날보고 사랑하는 이유를 궁금해, 그는 나를 울게 볼 때 그는 기쁨의 헤아릴 수없는 양의 기분이 어때?

빌었 일부는 그 만 상처 치료에 도움을 수있다 “미안해.” 그렇다면, 내가 시대의 그것 만 말 신경 안 써요. 난 정말 내 자신을 이해할 수없는, 왜 난 항상 그렇게 비판적과 자랑스러운 내가 할 때마다 또는 말을 소리합니까? 왜 이렇게 자기 중심입니까? 날 겸손의 인사조차하지 않는 인치가 있습니까? 그리고 모두의 악화, 왜 난 그것을 깨닫지 못하고합니까?

그것은 전혀 월요일처럼 보이지는 않는다, 그것이 이번 주말에 도달처럼 더 느낀다. 어쨋든, 오늘은 그냥 나를 위해 전체 주 망했어. 정말 인간과 인간을 만나 뵙기가 아픕니다. 난 그저 유혹이 세상에서 자신을 숨기고 하나님을 무시하고, 침대에 누워이 모든 주 넘겨주면됩니다.

… 난 정말 더 이상 어떻게 말씀 드려야할지하지 않습니다. 이 질문은 그냥 내 마음에서 울리는 보관하고 그것을 말하는 건지 모르겠어요. 난 정말 변했나요?

November 7, 2010


Filed under: Blibical, Rantings — CynthiaAcacia @ 2:19 pm

There are no hopeless people, only faithless people.

Lol and I guess finally someone exposed my denials LOL.

And it had to be Weiloong =.= lol lol lol.


Ok ): I don’t know how to do it.

I have so many on my to-do list and ):

OK I’m emotionally unstable now.

Until then, BYE

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