Daughter of the risen one! (:

September 5, 2010

Mixed.

Filed under: Blibical, Random crap (:, Rantings — Tags: , , , , , , , , — CynthiaAcacia @ 2:25 pm

3 different stories, 3 different emotions.

1) Yesterday, God told me:

Seek first my Kingdom and all will be given and added to you.

He showed me a glass heart, inside it was a castle. This represented the Kingdom of God. It’s just like the story of the small, large and medium rocks. We should always put the large rocks in before putting the medium and small rocks, if not all rocks will not be able to fit in.

 

The Kingdom of God is like the largest rock. If we are to experience the glory and promises of God to its fullest, we have to put the castle in first, into our hearts. In the middle of our lives. Then followed by all the other things. If we are to put other things first, it is impossible to fit in the castle. Because it’s so big, and many a times when Christians cry out to God that He is not as into their lives as God wants them to be, are they willing to sacrifice other priorities for the biggest priority? Are they willing to put the Kingdom of God first? Are they willing to take a leap of faith and make the sacrifice?

Many a times God has told us again and again, that He will add to the faithful and obedient, God will definitely not shortchange you. He will definitely reward you hundredfold, thousandfold of what you had sacrificed. And many a times it just comes to us as hey, if I didn’t sacrifice what was good in those days how could I have had the best? Vice versa if you did not put God first in your life.

God cannot fully work in us without our permission because of free will, if you do not allow God to be in the centre of your life, how can your life be of a powerful vessel? 

2) Thanks WeiLoong for being so kind as to walk me back to a place where I can recognise. I have no doubts that your future prospective wife/girlfriend or current heart throb LOL will find you to be of a haha well I don’t know. But I guess you’re one of the better guys I’ve ever seen. Zzz, that’s a compliment HAHA. Well, I keep saying: What the. LOL influenced by Shreedhee. I really thank God that I’m currently a CD instead of the past me being a DC. If not, I would have clashed head-on with Yicong HAHA. And I’m sure we’ll be of a match (Or I’d probably be able to win either way and piss her off in the process) so neither will win which will result in conflicts, WWIII. But now, I would just be of a slacker when she domineers. Which is a good thing I guess. Yicong rarely backs down when she domineers. Zzz haha ok just like me. LOL. Except that I’m so prideful that I will consider who the person is before I consider stepping back (: Another of a good thing is that I don’t really mind her doing it, as she never oversteps the line or makes me feel threatened haha. Which I guess, is lucky. Or, we’ll be just the next generation of enemies lol. Yea, God’s plan is great! Thank God, I don’t like conflicts. I just can’t help it when I feel threatened haha. I’m like a forever PMS-ing kid ): Leanne’s sick btw, she’s having chicken pox. Aww, I’m immune to it already ahha. I remember getting mine in K2. Itchy ): Ah well, I guess it’s better for her to have it now than to have it nearer to her wedding. That will be kind of a sad thing. The myth of a cross is a book that a Muslim wrote to expose the supposedly “flaws” of the bible. Haha aww, I think some of the questions are really just pinpointing and some are really well, use brain can answer le but Zzz, I’m able to answer them. Kana tricked by the title -.- I thought it was a Christian book. Never mind, it will get my brain working anyway.

3) Few days back, I have had a bad experience with a particular person. My conscience is clear, I did nothing wrong to incur your wrath. You may love them a lot as you claim but if something as silly as a bad memory of remembering your favourite stars names is to destroy a friendship, I don’t think you’re a good friend to me. Seriously. That’s just a stupid, naive excuse. I did not attack your group although I do not have a preference for Korean star or stars for that matter. Really, don’t you think I have better things to do and worry about? Do you think I did it on purpose? If I did, may God punish me for my judgmental heart. But I didn’t, I go through as much as loving you as a friend thus didn’t comment anything on your favourite stars group although seriously speaking, its idolism. Oh what do you care about it anyway, to you I’m just stupid not to like Korean idols. And you should know I not only mix up their names I mix up other people’s names too, is it my fault that I’ve been born this way? I even mix up my name sometimes, is mercy not to be shown on me? Did you really had to go that far as to insult me with vulgarities? It hurt me, it really did. And I thought friends would be more important that idols. But I was wrong wasn’t I? This is an unmerciful world. Was Jesus ever wrong to say that? Sometimes, people think christian doctrines are plain crap and full of shit. I would like to say it just holds the truths and is reflective of who humans really are today. People just don’t like being exposed of their flaws.

June 4, 2010

Love me for what I am about to do

Filed under: Blibical, Random crap (: — Tags: , , , , , , — CynthiaAcacia @ 1:05 pm

 Cut my hair yesterday, I’m going to leave it long (:

Don’t frown on me because of what I have done, but instead love me for what I am about to do.

Yesterday night, I spent hours on my bed flipping over my sides and all over.
I was thinking about why I couldn’t talk deep.
Which is ironic because,
I can think deep but not talk deep is also equivalent to me wasting my time thinking deep.
As I reflect upon that quote up there I realised that must be why I am afraid to share deep.
In the past, I was more than undesirable.
Whether as a friend, a classmate, a child etc.
I was not only prideful, I was insecure.
I am many things that one can think the worst of.
Well, I guess I broke every commandment in the bible expect for killing my parents.
Which I hadn’t reached that stage yet,
thank goodness.
An anti-christ once told me, Christianity was only for sinners.
That’s completely true.
Because Jesus once said in Matthew 9
10While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and “sinners” came and ate with him and his disciples. 11When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and ‘sinners’?”
 12On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. 13But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice. For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”

And I asked him, so have you not lied? Have you not sinned?

Then he said: Yes I’m a sinner.
So I asked him: So you do need Christianity.
And he denied of course.

It’s okay to frown upon my past, because yes.

It’s really unsightly to humans that is.
But love me for what I am about to do,
because God is going to use me.

Christians, this is a warning.

Every actions you do,
those antichrist, are going to use it as a false testimony against God.
They are out to exploit every bad things you have done.
From the people in your life, to those passerby looking at your life.
Hold fast and do what’s right because,
we are people living in the end times.
The world doesn’t need us,
they need God.
1 John 2:18
Dear children, this is the last hour; and as you have heard that the antichrist is coming, even now many antichrists have come. This is how we know it is the last hour.

And before people deny that they are antichrist here’s the few verses.

  • 1 John 2:22
    Who is the liar? It is the man who denies that Jesus is the Christ. Such a man is the antichrist—he denies the Father and the Son.
  • 1 John 4:3
    but every spirit that does not acknowledge Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you have heard is coming and even now is already in the world.
  • 2 John 1:7
    Many deceivers, who do not acknowledge Jesus Christ as coming in the flesh, have gone out into the world. Any such person is the deceiver and the antichrist.

May 26, 2010

Humble life of Moses

Filed under: Blibical — Tags: , , , , — CynthiaAcacia @ 10:19 am

Humility and a deep respect for God were a large reason for this honor given to Moses.(Isaiah 57: 15 ; 66:2)

Point 1: Moses made mistakes(Numbers 20: 1-12)
12 But the LORD said to Moses and Aaron, “Because you did not trust in me enough to honor me as holy in the sight of the Israelites, you will not bring this community into the land I give them.”
Why?
 7 The LORD said to Moses, 8 “Take the staff, and you and your brother Aaron gather the assembly together. Speak to that rock before their eyes and it will pour out its water. You will bring water out of the rock for the community so they and their livestock can drink.” 9 So Moses took the staff from the LORD’s presence, just as he commanded him. 10 He and Aaron gathered the assembly together in front of the rock and Moses said to them, “Listen, you rebels, must we bring you water out of this rock?” 11 Then Moses raised his arm and struck the rock twice with his staff. Water gushed out, and the community and their livestock drank.
God did not tell Moses to strike the rock as He commanded Moses to during the first time when Moses asked for water from God to give to the community.
By striking the rock, Moses showed his insecurity in God.
He doubted that water would not gush out from the rock as it did the first time when he striked it.
God did it to test Moses but apparently, he failed the test.

What we can actually learned from this mistakes of Moses is very clear and simple :

Trust the Lord for when He says He will bless you, He will. 

Point 2: became discouraged( Exodus 17:4)
 4 Then Moses cried out to the LORD, “What am I to do with these people? They are almost ready to stone me.”
When the crowd went against Moses because of lack of food and water,
Moses became afraid of these people instead of knowing who was in control.
He was deeply discouraged when the crowd kept complaining against him and that God was doing “nothing”.
But in fact, God was already doing something!
That is testing the Israelities and Moses himself.
 
Point 3: Sometimes doubted his calling and even limited God
(Numbers 11:1-1o; 21-23)
Moses doubted Lord as he couldnt take the burden that God had gave to him.
God will never give you a burden that He knows you can’t handle.
Although it seems hard,
many a times it is because we failed to see who truly is in control.
In numbers 1-10, Moses started to complain that he did not deserved all these trouble
when it was the community who were actually complaining.
Byt complaining against God, the community sinned.
Moses even said to Lord “if this is how you are going to treat me, put me to death right now”.
 
21 But Moses said, “Here I am among six hundred thousand men on foot, and you say, ‘I will give them meat to eat for a whole month!’ 22 Would they have enough if flocks and herds were slaughtered for them? Would they have enough if all the fish in the sea were caught for them?”
 23 The LORD answered Moses, “Is the LORD’s arm too short? You will now see whether or not what I say will come true for you.”
 
In this passage, it showed that Moses actually doubted God that He was ” not able to provide”.
God is a God who provides,
He has made all things on earth from man to creatures how can He not be able to provide?
Again, Moses sinned against God by doubting Him.
This sort of “limited” God as Moses perceived God to be smaller and less powerful than He actually is.

By God’s grace, Moses became a humble person.

Like Moses, we make mistakes in our lives. But God is also a God who forgives.
The bible exists for a reason:
-to know what God’s commandments and words to us are
-to learn from the bible character’s past mistakes
-to learn the good they did to glorify God etc.etc. etc.

Got this from one of my youth people :) Haha the points only actually. The rest is elaborated by me (:

April 9, 2010

Fear.

Filed under: Random crap (: — Tags: , , , — CynthiaAcacia @ 4:10 pm

My worst fear is not falling backwards.
For that, I can overcome.
My worst fear is making mistakes.
Yes, it grips my soul,
freezing me and capturing the very essence of this terrible feeling.

Carefree and easy-going doesn’t really go well with a perfectionist.

I want every thing I do to be perfect.
I hate making mistakes.
I fear making mistakes.
Because once I make a mistake,
I will be confronted.
Regardless whether its through my conscience
or through a person.

I hate this fear.

It stabs me,
making the world a stand-still.
It pains me,
wondering why I always did wrong.
It crushes me,
like a million arrows piercing through my soul.
It lets out a silent long shriek.
It bleeds from the inside,
leaving me confused,
filled with hatred,
lost and alone.

Such sickening, horrible feelings.

It makes me feel..lonely.
It makes me withdraw from the world.

It makes me cry out to my creator: WHY?

Why is it that when we were made in your image,
we did not have the willpower that you have?
Why is it that Eve,
why couldn’t you resist temptation?
Why must you let sin seep into our lives?

I HATE making mistakes.

I want to be a flawless human too.
But I know I can’t.
 

I wish I didn’t have to learn this way, by banging my head to the wall so many times.

 

 

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