Daughter of the risen one! (:

November 1, 2010

& my pupils dilated when I smiled.

Filed under: Rantings — Tags: — CynthiaAcacia @ 1:02 pm

Have I really fallen for you?

Or are my feelings playing a trick on me again?
No it’s not possible for us to even like each other that way.
What do I even see in you?
Does those qualities really make you so attractive?
If I feel warm, happy and peaceful inside when you smile,
can it just simply mean I’m happy for you?
I want to be somebody important in your life.
Am I settling for the next status since I can’t have the alternative?

Oh dear Jesus Lord, I need to guard my heart.

I’ve been thinking whether I should private it or password it…
I’m quite afraid that you’d see this and immediately know it’s you.
But anyway =) This could mean anyone.
I’m on a Daniel fast. Fasting from vulguar and impure thoughts.
LOL. So sorry I’m making this public but )= I just had to remind myself.

Nah. My feelings are playing a trick on me I THINK. I’m in denial.


September 5, 2010


Filed under: Blibical, Random crap (:, Rantings — Tags: , , , , , , , , — CynthiaAcacia @ 2:25 pm

3 different stories, 3 different emotions.

1) Yesterday, God told me:

Seek first my Kingdom and all will be given and added to you.

He showed me a glass heart, inside it was a castle. This represented the Kingdom of God. It’s just like the story of the small, large and medium rocks. We should always put the large rocks in before putting the medium and small rocks, if not all rocks will not be able to fit in.


The Kingdom of God is like the largest rock. If we are to experience the glory and promises of God to its fullest, we have to put the castle in first, into our hearts. In the middle of our lives. Then followed by all the other things. If we are to put other things first, it is impossible to fit in the castle. Because it’s so big, and many a times when Christians cry out to God that He is not as into their lives as God wants them to be, are they willing to sacrifice other priorities for the biggest priority? Are they willing to put the Kingdom of God first? Are they willing to take a leap of faith and make the sacrifice?

Many a times God has told us again and again, that He will add to the faithful and obedient, God will definitely not shortchange you. He will definitely reward you hundredfold, thousandfold of what you had sacrificed. And many a times it just comes to us as hey, if I didn’t sacrifice what was good in those days how could I have had the best? Vice versa if you did not put God first in your life.

God cannot fully work in us without our permission because of free will, if you do not allow God to be in the centre of your life, how can your life be of a powerful vessel? 

2) Thanks WeiLoong for being so kind as to walk me back to a place where I can recognise. I have no doubts that your future prospective wife/girlfriend or current heart throb LOL will find you to be of a haha well I don’t know. But I guess you’re one of the better guys I’ve ever seen. Zzz, that’s a compliment HAHA. Well, I keep saying: What the. LOL influenced by Shreedhee. I really thank God that I’m currently a CD instead of the past me being a DC. If not, I would have clashed head-on with Yicong HAHA. And I’m sure we’ll be of a match (Or I’d probably be able to win either way and piss her off in the process) so neither will win which will result in conflicts, WWIII. But now, I would just be of a slacker when she domineers. Which is a good thing I guess. Yicong rarely backs down when she domineers. Zzz haha ok just like me. LOL. Except that I’m so prideful that I will consider who the person is before I consider stepping back (: Another of a good thing is that I don’t really mind her doing it, as she never oversteps the line or makes me feel threatened haha. Which I guess, is lucky. Or, we’ll be just the next generation of enemies lol. Yea, God’s plan is great! Thank God, I don’t like conflicts. I just can’t help it when I feel threatened haha. I’m like a forever PMS-ing kid ): Leanne’s sick btw, she’s having chicken pox. Aww, I’m immune to it already ahha. I remember getting mine in K2. Itchy ): Ah well, I guess it’s better for her to have it now than to have it nearer to her wedding. That will be kind of a sad thing. The myth of a cross is a book that a Muslim wrote to expose the supposedly “flaws” of the bible. Haha aww, I think some of the questions are really just pinpointing and some are really well, use brain can answer le but Zzz, I’m able to answer them. Kana tricked by the title -.- I thought it was a Christian book. Never mind, it will get my brain working anyway.

3) Few days back, I have had a bad experience with a particular person. My conscience is clear, I did nothing wrong to incur your wrath. You may love them a lot as you claim but if something as silly as a bad memory of remembering your favourite stars names is to destroy a friendship, I don’t think you’re a good friend to me. Seriously. That’s just a stupid, naive excuse. I did not attack your group although I do not have a preference for Korean star or stars for that matter. Really, don’t you think I have better things to do and worry about? Do you think I did it on purpose? If I did, may God punish me for my judgmental heart. But I didn’t, I go through as much as loving you as a friend thus didn’t comment anything on your favourite stars group although seriously speaking, its idolism. Oh what do you care about it anyway, to you I’m just stupid not to like Korean idols. And you should know I not only mix up their names I mix up other people’s names too, is it my fault that I’ve been born this way? I even mix up my name sometimes, is mercy not to be shown on me? Did you really had to go that far as to insult me with vulgarities? It hurt me, it really did. And I thought friends would be more important that idols. But I was wrong wasn’t I? This is an unmerciful world. Was Jesus ever wrong to say that? Sometimes, people think christian doctrines are plain crap and full of shit. I would like to say it just holds the truths and is reflective of who humans really are today. People just don’t like being exposed of their flaws.

August 20, 2010

God, we have a fad crisis :/

Filed under: Blibical — Tags: , , , — CynthiaAcacia @ 1:21 pm

Turn here turn there all about relationships -.-

Apparently, humans can praise the guy/girl they “love” more than the God they “love”.
It’s certainly amusing to see how “love” just overflows from their heart,
when they talk about their lover.
Yet when they praise God, it’s always the same few words.
I guess it’s cause we don’t love Him enough to put Him above all?
What’s the idea of having relationships and leaving God?

Are all those words that you have all spoken in the past just lies and bullshit?

Hello? Your life, not their life.
Sure go on and “prove” that it can both be a balance to the church.
It’s hard work, it’s going to be even harder when he/she starts going against it.
Anyway, seriously nobody cares about the proving.
What do you need to prove?
Look here, I’m not even going to try to go against it.

But 99% of the time, you are all going to end up regretting it.

Fact or fiction? Fact.

I tested it out by changing my Facebook status.
Indeed the response was fast and swift.
What I’m more disappointed in is that,
nobody even cares to discourage it.
So can I conclude what your said in the past was just a recitation?
Or perhaps your no longer believed in what your had said.
Are your hypocrites?
It’s funny how things can change so much in a blinking of an eye.

Was I wrong to say “God has delivered me out of suffering”?

Do your want to know the truth? He wanted to test this generation.

Please just stay strong, it will pass soon.
Perhaps it’s partly my fault that I did not share this prophecy.
Look, it has come to pass, now go.

In a land of darkness,

where has the light gone to?

June 22, 2010

I won’t stop you.

Filed under: Random crap (: — Tags: — CynthiaAcacia @ 10:25 am

Yea go on and get yourself hurt again.

I won’t care anymore.
You can deny it’s a replacement all you want.
Both of you can.
Being in the same situation doesn’t means MUTAL UNDERSTANDING.
You say I don’t understand. I understand more than you do.
In fact I got a whole lot of feeling that it isn’t going to turn out as well as you think.        
Crap, I’m not going to entertain you when you get hurt.
Don’t come back in self pity again, I will give you hell.

I feel so damned right now, why do I even care about you?

You have no connections to me except that spiritual connection,
and you don’t even acknowledge it anymore.
You’re right. I don’t even know why I care to talk to you.
Dumbo. What else. It’s just because I care.

…Just don’t come back regretting again.

Heck, don’t toy her or let her toy you.

I just know I will be there when you need me.


June 13, 2010


Filed under: Blibical — Tags: , , , , , , — CynthiaAcacia @ 4:21 am

In this generation where  BGR is of the highest status.

In this world of which breakups are more than common,

patch ups are more than forgiven.

In every worldly relationship,

there is something expected in return.

In every crush, love and infatuation,

there is one desire to be admired,

loved and being important.

In every “I love you”,

there is a hidden motive,

a killer agenda.

In every “let’s break up”,

hopes of a perfect life fell,

curses land upon the desolated ground.

In every broken heart,

people see the ugliness of the truth.

Yet only God looks at it,

picks it up and says:

My child, I’m here for you.

or if you do not like that ending,

Yet only God picks it up and aks:

My child, what can I do for you?

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