I think. I’m never going to get married. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Lol, perhaps I’m going to look back at this post years later and laugh at the irony. Lmao, doesn’t life suck in a way that as you get to know more people, along the way your expectations go higher, your future boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband starts to need some added qualities? Well, I guess in a way it does make things clearer about who we really want. And not just chasing around some fantasies and dreams. Perhaps some people say it’s okay to lose some of those qualities, if not very hard to find husband/wife hahah. God begs to differ, He created a special being for each of us. Sometimes, we’re just too impatient. Even if we find our soul mate at a young age, they haven’t mature to be that kind of person we were suppose to be with. If you ask me, it’s a waste. Still there are some people like my mum: don’t smoke don’t drink not abusive love you can already. Lol, like that. I can simply just pick a random guy from the street. My mum tells me not to go for water baptism on the 05102010. Five days before I decide to go and die. She tells me I won’t know where my husband next time what religion, later water baptism then next time very troublesome. How to tell her I die die also will marry Christian or out of the question? Hahahs I guess this sounds rather obstinate and stupid. Ahh well sleeps (: My skin condition is getting real bad. It’s so sensitive that at any point of salty contact, which particularly means even if I sweat. I will have bumps all over my body. Which are itchy and not even red. And guess when all this started? When I decided to go Sentosa =.= Hmmm, I guess I will have to keep myself extra clean. In a same way when our body is unclean and riddle with sins, we carry these small packages of burdens and uncleanliness. How dirty and sinful is your body today? Just count the bumps on you, I was surprised because it sort of reminded me how sinful I was, I made me felt dirty :/ I often do the right things for the wrong purposes and motives, this generally made my soul and heart tainted and unpure. I’m usually driven by selfishness and I’m rather self-promoting in spirit. I end up always stealing glory that belongs to God and others. PEOPLE are willing to give as long as God repays THEM for their giving.
PEOPLE are willing to serve as long as people NOTICE and give ample praise.
PEOPLE are willing to sacrifice as long as they find an ADVANTAGE in the sacrifice.
PEOPLE are willing to worship as long as they find FULFILLMENT and BLESSING in the act.
Sounds familiar?I often commit the fourth and third. I’m really ashamed to say that sometimes I can be like the Pharisees, I love the praises of men more than the praises of God. You know, it’s sort of pride and recognition. But I think I should get rid of this *frowns* Guilty guilty guilty ): I guess all these would have been enough to convict me for life. Last but not least. I compromise values which many of a times caused me to be separated from God’s presence. Which is rather irritating cause I hate it when I can’t hear God. Here’s the areas of growth for me:
- Right motive and purposes, pure untainted heart
- Growth in wisdom
- Be more serving
- Child-likeness faith
- Teachable, Ever willing to learn
- Stronger R/s with God.