Daughter of the risen one! (:

August 1, 2010

Tell me God.

Filed under: Blibical, Random crap (: — Tags: , , , — CynthiaAcacia @ 10:21 pm

hahha. In your face Ethan Tan WeiLoong!

I’ve been wondering how sad/happy/emotionless

I will be when he gets himself a girlfriend.

Will I be sad? How sad will I be?
Will I be over him before that happens?
Will I harbour a hate?
Heh, I find myself amusing.
I can be so selfish.
So to all the people out there who keeps telling me I am selfless,
here’s the truth.
I can be extremely selfish that you will hate me to the core.

People find it wierd that I will like such a guy.

But hey, what’s there to not like about him?
He has fulfilled every quality I have listed down.
And he has enforced those first few quality so strongly that I am amazed.
And to think that I thought I have set impossible expectations.
Not out-of-the world physical looks and all that,
but that powerful inner beauty.
Why not him?
But hey God, I don’t know about you.
Maybe he’s not for me. Maybe.

Funny how I oppose relationships that form at a young age,

but constantly find myself liking guys so much older than me.
Hey, to the world 5 years age gap already is old.
How about 7.
I think it’s a wonderful age gap.
I always thought so. But oh well.

God, I been thinking hard as well,

how am I going to persuade my tuition teacher to release my brother fixed tuition timing?
I have done that with her younger daughter,
she’s bound to tell me what Jesus has done to her daughter.
It’s true the change is not as big as she might have expected,
it might not be prominent now.
I cannot directly influence her now either,
since we’re in different services..
But God how!
A child cannot experience change if he/she hardens her/his heart towards God.
My brother goes only for the sake of entertainment.
And even now, he’s tired of the food there.
He’s becoming more aware of money.
God tell me how!
What am I to do, how I wish God that he will understand.
 

Anw God, at 5am tomorrow,

I’m going to start walking to the park.

See you there, please God. Tell me how.

June 5, 2010

My heartfelt thoughts that nobody can ever take away.

Filed under: Blibical — Tags: , , , , , , — CynthiaAcacia @ 2:07 pm

Service later :/
To tell the truth, I’m still not very used to the tertiary style.
Shreedhee asked me whether I still prefer Youth or tertiary.
I still prefer Youth..

I remember in Youth, we’d meet up before going to service together.

 

I wonder if anyone here would forget to go?
And if anyone would feel so sian to go alone that he / she decided not to go anymore?
Ultimately yes, it’s about the heart and the heart desires.
But an idle mind is the devil’s playground.
How sure are we that during the train / bus journey there
that someone would not think of such evil things against God etc?
Sure there’s discernment and we are to guard our hearts but..
how about those newer believers?
How about those people who are tired of serving?

I think one thing in youth that kept me going for service was the people.

We do more than plugging our ears with music on the train.
We shared life, we connected with our visitors through actions, care and words.
Their joy in Christ was pure joy and bliss to me.
It was a sight to behold.
Though we are a noisy group ( haha ) but I think love was in the atmosphere.
And it’s not just love for the people, God was also there.
When two or more gathers, there the presence of God will be.
The love for God,
is more than incredible.

And I loved it.

Which I do plug my ears very often nowadays since well, there’s particularly no one to talk to.
Talk to God?
Put your heart in peace?
Many a times I ride that dreaded train journey in loneliness.

I can’t expect everyone to meet up, since

  1. Everyone lives in different areas
  2. There surely will be people who are late
Sure, my youth group wasn’t perfect either.
People were late too :/
In such cases,
two or three people would wait for the late person while the others went ahead first.
Cause we might be late for service, wouldn’t want that (:
I miss sitting on the stairs of the boon lay MRT station waiting for people.
It’s funny how it was such a habit that nobody bothered to hold it against anyone.
I guess it will be a hassle for the tertiary people even if we were to meet up in their areas.
But, I do miss it.

I think that’s the stronghold of our unity.

Shreedhee said last time she would want to go back to youth but now she prefers tertiary.
For me, my answer stays the same.
If I had a chance,
I’d still go back to youth.
Yes, even if I had to start anew with different people.
That’s different from living in the past people.

I’m not living in the past, I just miss it.

 After reading this, scold me if you want for holding to the past.
But that is something I will never trade for.

February 11, 2010

Why?

Filed under: Blibical, Random crap (: — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , — CynthiaAcacia @ 10:43 am

Wah.Been thinking what to put as the blog title =.=
I been moved to tertiary :/
Mixed emotions? Happy, Sad, Excited.
Regrets and disappointments, Anticipation and worries.
Hais will be super sad to leave youth ):
After all, its where I grew up in.
Its where I learnt the meaning of family.
Its where I knew Love.
Ahh well (=
Going to have another spiritual family soon but will never forget my first =D HAHA.
The firsts are always the most memorable uh o.o
But I think its a blessing bah (=
After all if I can serve God more in tertiary why not =D
LOL.Qs wants me to keep the spirit and the spirit of humility =X
LOL.I will de okay-.-
27th of Feb will be my last Youth service =X
Then I WILL BE YOUNG AGAIN!!!=D MUAHAHAHA.
Wooo Can’t wait to know who my new CL, UL, DL, group and shepherd is! :)
SO exciting eh ^^ 2 weeks after the transfer tertiary CAMP!!! WOOO!
I’m like BOOMZ! =D
WOOOT! And GOD is GREAT! =D
I LOVE CAMPSSSS!!!!! ^^
I’ve been thinking ._.
How light always envelops darkness
but darkness have always not been able to cover light?
Why do they still desperately try to cover the tracks of the ablazed and earse their presence altogether?
Why is it they try and try and that they do not give up?
Why is it then others who have the light prefer to lead the way through darkness?
Why are you all so foolish?
Did not the light came to serve you, lead you and save you?
Why is it then you’re leading others to the light through darkness?
IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE.HELLO?
You have been blessed with INSIGHTS from Heavens above yet you REJECT it!
Why are people so dull?
LOL.Okay random.
Its something I hope PEOPLE WHO ARE SUPPOSED TO BE THE LIGHT and THOSE WHO ARE TRYING TO SNUFF IT OUT will think through.
Anw, I spent 2 hrs 32 min waiting for the dentist only to be informed that there was a miscommunication=.=
Then when checked up, I have four cavities! x.x SIAN.
I don’t like the drill LOL.
Woots =D Okay I’m going to research on manifestation of insecurities le! =D

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